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What a pleasure it is to finally be able to announce the death of one Mr. Roy G. Biv. For centuries we have been living under the oppression of the cult of the Seven-Colored Rainbow (7CR), wondering how on Earth is the color indigo different from blue or purple? Mr. Biv has been spreading the gospel of the 7CR for nigh on four hundred years now (after an intense labor and delivery by his mother, Sir Isaac Newton), seeding doubt and confusion into the minds of our youth all the while.  completely innocuous pamphlet cover, credit: 6CR Movement Well, rest assured dear reader, our prayers have been answered! As we lay Mr. Biv to rest, his horrific reign of tyranny can finally come to an end. As we speak, Six-Colored Rainbow evangelists have been seen going door to door, handing out pamphlets to reverse the damage of the 7CR (cover of the pamphlet is attached). "Say no to indigo!"  As for the cause of death, it is widely known that Mr. Biv is sustained solely off the nourishment p...

Tragedy once again strikes the American people as the villainous nose-picking virus, VillaiNose, takes the lives of 3,000 more individuals this month, those of whom primarily consist of stinky teenage boys and gross adult men. For some reason, the disease seems to target the post-pubescent male demographic. It is a current scientific assumption that girls have evolved beyond the virus. Real VillaiNose Victim.  Photo credit: Amber Sok  We all know the signs by now, considering VillaiNose has been running rampant across the United States for the better part of this decade, but far too many people are learning to ignore the symptoms. Green snot will run down their nostrils, eventually turning into a bright and vibrant orange when the disease has reached its terminal stage. Hair starts falling out in large patches from the scalp and growing back in a dense thicket along the bridge of the infected individual's nose. Their skin becomes a startling fluorescent yellow color. See...