After asking a number of very important and smart people, the whole world has come to the conclusion that Amber Sok's happiness is sustaining everyone else's. This study has been years in the making, but the evidence is there. Since Amber's birth on August 28, 1997, the happiness index of the world rose by 3000%, and grows every time her paycheck appears in her bank account and whenever she is handed a cookie. Crashes rarely occur but when they do, every man, woman, and child on Earth starts crying inexplicably. Very strange stuff here, but I guess this just means we have to make sure she stays smiling.
"I have dedicated the last twenty years of my life to this research, and it's all sound. Ever since I hypothesized this on the day she was born, there has been absolutely no evidence to debunk it and no evidence ever will."
-Super Scientist Jared Bologneman
"She's a delight and there's science to prove it."
-Super Ultra Scientist Lana Banana-Womana
"I have dedicated the last twenty years of my life to this research, and it's all sound. Ever since I hypothesized this on the day she was born, there has been absolutely no evidence to debunk it and no evidence ever will."
-Super Scientist Jared Bologneman
"She's a delight and there's science to prove it."
-Super Ultra Scientist Lana Banana-Womana
Comments
Post a Comment